Keep Our Children Safe

Reflections by Ms. Bee

Imagine the faces of your children. Think of the joy and happiness your children unconditionally give you. Now imagine them gone. Completely missing. The devastation and loss of your child suddenly vanishing, is incomprehensible, unless it happens to you.

The story of the three young Ohio women who were rescued after ten years touched families across the nation, including many here in Hawaii. Hawaii News Now recently interviewed a Hawaii mother whose daughter has been missing for ten years (http://tinyurl.com/kn75f9h). The rescue gave this Hawaii mother hope that she may also one day be reunited with her daughter, who has been missing since she was 15 years old.  In Hawaii, many new children are listed as missing each month in Hawaii (http://missingchildcenterhawaii.com). Several have been missing for over ten years.

As a community we ask – How does this sort of quiet violence occur? How can such atrocities happen in our neighborhoods and communities? How do we prevent it from happening again? The answer? Be a vigilant, active, attentive friend, neighbor, co-worker, community member, and bystander. We must stand united and require that abuse and harm are unacceptable. We must not be silent. We cannot afford to turn the other way under the premise that we should mind our own business. We must make it our business to ensure our children, families, and communities are safe and free from any threat of harm. Each of us can be a powerful force for positive change.

Dr. Dorothy Edwards’ GreenDot (www.livethegreendot.com) strategy implements the use of “The 3 Ds” to be a good bystander (http://access.ewu.edu/health-and-wellness/bystanders.xml).  When you assess that you are witnessing a risky situation, try the Three Ds. Always remember – safety first!

1. Distract

2. Delegate

3. Direct

1. Distract. Cause some sort of distraction that will interrupt the potential violence or harm. For example, if you see a couple arguing in a park, gently say, “excuse me” and ask for directions, or say, “Don’t I know you from high school?” Or, if you see a parent in a store escalating as they yell at their young child, accidentally knock a few things off a nearby shelf or ask them to help you look for your contact lens.

2. Delegate. When you feel that its not safe to intervene yourself, involve someone else. For example, call 911 for the couple arguing in the park, or alert the store manager or a security guard for the parent in the store.

3. Direct. Directly approach the situation if you feel it is safe. For example, ask the couple in the park or the parent in the store if they are ok or need help.

Seventeen years ago, Hillary Clinton (1996) boldly proclaimed the African Proverb, “it takes a whole village to raise a child.” If we expand the concept, I think we would all agree – it takes a whole village to ensure our children are safe, healthy, and thriving. Be a good bystander, or village member; use the three Ds.